I would be a mommy and Todd a daddy.
For the first time.
I will never forget that day, tears of joy rolled down my cheeks. Immediately, I saw the world differently and an awareness of my surroundings was awoken to heights I never knew existed. We were so excited, and I, well, let's just say I was giddy. I tried to savor every moment of the months ahead, reading everything out there, looking up pictures of what the baby inside me looked like this week.
I remember the first kick as I stood over the stove cooking that night, and can still point to the
exact spot where I felt it. We anticipated every doctor's appointment with joy waiting to hear that heartbeat again, hoping the nurse would linger longer with the doppler, just to give our ears eyes into my womb. What will you look like? Do you know how much we already love you?
And the day of the ultrasound.....Oh, I remember that too. Seeing you move so full of life, that little pug nose in your profile. Tears rolled down my cheeks. Again. I chuckled through those tears of joy as I watched you on the screen, jostling you a little with the laughter.
I lived for Mondays for the first time in my life, for Mondays marked a week closer to seeing your face for the first time.
40 weeks, could we stand to wait that long?
Somehow we did, busying ourselves setting up your room, birthing classes, baby showers, and the like.
Then the day came.
It was a long night, but finally you arrived - and I saw you. Tears of joy rolled down my cheeks, yes, again. The room was full of many, the wee hours of the morning had arrived, knowing what we needed, they tucked you into the nursery and me into my room for the night.
When I woke, immediately I called for you. Waiting all this time, I wanted to get to know you and now was the time.
It was just you and I. Alone.
You were swaddled so snug as I took you into my arms. My curiosity could stand it no longer, I began unwrapping you bit by bit inspecting every inch of your little body. I studied your fingers first, taking in the shape of each nail. My inspection moved to your tummy. Were you an innie or an outie? And oh, you drew your chunky little legs up, as I touched your tiny toes. There were 10 of them. One to match each of your 10 fingers.
Running my finger over the edge of your ear.
You were perfect.
I could do nothing but look at you and marvel at what God had made. What God had given to us. My eyes wanted to look no where else.
Those were holy moments.
Oh, Mary, did you do the same? When it was just you and your newborn baby boy? I can just imagine you pulling away those swaddling clothes strip by strip, inspecting His fingers, His toes, touching His cheek to yours. Your eyes wanting to look no where else but upon Him. Your firstborn.
The Firstborn of all Creation, in your care. You marveled at what God had made. He had given you more than a first born, your eyes were locked upon your Savior. And you studied Him.
Learning every inch of Him. Getting to know Him.
Tears roll down my cheeks, again.